I crossed over anger…I have been angry, it's been weird -
I have been mad - feeling abandoned and betrayed --
have not been able to make sense of it -
I haven't liked the feeling -
wanting to close my heart off and lock it up.
We are such complicated creatures - how our feelings can be so irrational and color things - they used to scare me because I believed them to be true - it's so nice to be able to honor them and know that I can have them as irrational as they are and choose to not let them rule, dictate, or taint my relationships anymore. That's been a hard one to work through and now I am seeing how the distance in relationships has been God’s sweet gift of time to me to guard hearts and not let my emotions bleed or spill over into the relationships I treasure. Time has given me the space to deal with myself – my anger is mine, it belongs to no one else – NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL anything! We feel things, we feel things deeply but we feel these things because they are deep within us already. God in His divine plan uses people…imperfect, flawed, beautiful people
to pull it up and out of us so that at the end of the day
we look a little more like
His Son.
Oh His ways are so perfect!