Hope for your love story
The Kitchen Table Counseling & Life Coaching Services
Marc and Melissa D’Aunoy are the owners of The Kitchen Table Counseling and Life Coaching Services in Lafayette, LA. They have been married for 16 years with five children ranging from the ages of 24 to 10 years old. As a blended family life has not always been easy for the D’Aunoy’s – don’t let the smile fool you! Marc and Melissa’s love story began with an introduction through a mutual friend…they met in college and dated briefly but moved on with life. Melissa married and moved to Texas for a few years, having two children, struggling in a rocky, unhealthy relationship. She eventually moved back to Louisiana to finish schooling to get her Master’s degree at UL Lafayette in 2001 and divorced the same year. Meanwhile, Marc was busy pursuing his career in counseling at UNO in New Orleans, alone and unhappy in his own life. A chance encounter, 10 years after they first met, at a second mutual friend’s home and they have been together since, but it hasn’t been an easy road. The couple had baggage they carried into their relationship that required much healing and forgiveness on both parts.
On the surface, Melissa would appear to Marc as confident and happy. But underneath she was very insecure, lacked self-love and was a people-pleaser. One the surface Marc would appear to Melissa as steady, easy going and career driven. But underneath Marc had been a womanizer, full of lust and in denial. As their relationship progressed, these hidden issues began to surface forcing them to seek help if they were going to make it. Marc had a Master’s degree in Counseling, Melissa had a Mater’s degree in Communication and the irony of this is that they had to go to counseling to learn how to communicate.
Through the counseling and inner healing work they have done over the years, God healed their hearts, healed their marriage and it is through their own walk out of the fire that they offer hope to other couples at The Kitchen Table. Although every situation is unique in some ways, the solutions tend to be the same. Here are a few practical steps they recommend to couples:
- Turn your spotlight in to see yourself, your own brokenness.
- Invite Jesus into the wounded parts of your life.
- Be willing to be the first person to change. We call it getting blameless. Taking the log out of our own eye before you can examine someone else’s faults.
- Discover who you are in Christ. Until you surrender to God and his love you will tempted to find your identity through your spouses reactions to you. Most couples believe it is their job to make the other person happy. This is impossible. Joy comes from the Lord and happiness is an internal choice. Melissa likes to say “Jesus is the cake and Marc is the icing.”
- Surrender your need to change your spouse and let God do the work of change in both of you.
- Set healthy boundaries, Jesus was the ultimate boundary setter. As the temple of God, God calls us to avoid danger, and to avoid attaching ourselves to darkness to guard our hearts and to maintain limits.
- Commit to mutual submission through serving one another.
- Manager your expectations.
- Seek Godly counsel to guide you in the process.